Note: This post is a bit difference post. This post is me sharing whats on my mind. Thanks
Today is November 30, 2024. It is my older sister Melanie’s birthday. Mel passed away in October 2021 from COVID-19, and today, I find myself reflecting on loss, love, and the fleeting nature of life. I do not always reflect on loss, but today, I felt the loss deeply.
The past few days have been especially heavy for my family and friends. We’ve faced more than our fair share of loss, with at least three people passing away recently and countless others throughout the year. The sentiment that “life is too short” might sound like a cliche, but it resonates deeply during times like these. Everyone will go through loss, and I know I am not alone, but it never gets any easier.
This Thanksgiving season has been particularly somber. On Thanksgiving Day, I helped deliver food to one of my mom’s friends. She was fighting cancer, and her family wasn’t planning to celebrate the holiday. It was a small gesture, a way to bring a little comfort during a difficult time. It was my mom’s idea, and it really showed her heart was in the right place. Sadly, today, my mom’s friend is no longer with us. It’s a stark reminder of how precious and fragile life is and how a single moment of kindness can mean the world in someone’s final days. At least, I like to think it brought her ease in her final days.
Grief feels like an unwelcome guest at the table, but it’s also a reminder of the love we hold for those who are no longer with us. I wish I could take away the pain of those grieving, but the truth is that loss is an inescapable part of life. To love deeply is to grieve deeply when that love is no longer physically present. I am not a religious person, nor do I pretend to be, but I do see the charm in religion during tough times. Often, when thinking about religion and death, I am reminded of the quote, “Now is not the time to make new enemies.” (often quoted from Voltaire, but it’s not proven. He supposedly said it when he was asked to renounce satan on his death bed).
Nobody is perfect (some people are close, Mr. Rogers). My sister Melanie wasn’t either, but I miss her dearly. I often think of her, like when she bought me a 12-string guitar from a pawn shop or when we would watch scary movies. She loved Steven King, especially IT. I also remember playing cards with her (I have not really done that much since the internet). Those memories remain vivid and cherished, bringing both comfort and an ache for what was.
My wife recently lost her cousin, who was more like a sister to her. Though I never had the pleasure of meeting her, I’ve witnessed how deeply loved she was by her family and friends. From what I know of her, she was a great person who left us way too early.
Earlier this year, in June, my mom also experienced a profound loss—the passing of her partner. They were together for many years, and she often cherishes the memories. She will discuss events of the past with him like it was yesterday. Sometimes, I almost slip up and ask her how he is doing, but I catch myself before I ask the question. Each of these losses leaves its unique mark, shaping how we move forward.
Loss reminds us of how frail and short life is. Loss urges us to hold our loved ones closer, appreciate the small moments, and live with purpose. We cannot avoid the pain of loss. We can honor those we’ve lost by carrying their memories with us and striving to live a life that reflects the love and lessons they brought into our lives.
To those who are grieving, you are not alone. Mourning is as much a part of the human experience as joy, laughter, and love. In the midst of sorrow, I hope we all find moments of gratitude for the people and experiences that make life so precious.
Reflecting on Melanie’s birthday today, I’m reminded that while loss is inevitable, the love we share with others leaves a lasting legacy. May we honor that legacy by living fully and loving fiercely.
Mel- Your kids visited you today and left you a cupcake on your grave. Mom put up a Christmas tree as well.
Closing thought:
Life is too short not to love, laugh, and grieve when the time comes. Let’s cherish the days we have and the people we hold dear. May we also remember that even small acts of kindness—like delivering a meal—can leave a memorable mark on someone’s life. Sometimes, we all need to think a little more about what we can do for others and a little less about ourselves.
FYI – Please make sure you have a plan if the worse happens.